гигабайты словарей и программ для перевода

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Шутки, афоризмы и смешные надписи на английском языке. (Если нужен перевод - пишите в комментах)

Каламбур

If the translator is a man, HE translates.
If the translator is a woman, SHE translates.
If the translator is a computer, IT translates.
If the translator is either a man or a woman, S/HE translates.
Whether the translator is a man, a woman or a computer, S/H/IT
translates.

Несколько забавных надписей на табличках

• On a septic tank truck in Oregon:
  Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
• At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
  Invite Us To Your Next Blowout
• On a plumber's truck:
  We Repair What Your Husband Fixed
• On a plastic surgeon's office door:
  Hello! Can We Pick Your Nose?
• At a towing company:
  We don't charge an arm and a leg. We just want your tows.
• On an electrician's truck:
  Let Us Remove Your Shorts
• On a maternity room door:
  Push. Push. Push!
• At an optometrist's office:
  If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
• On a taxidermist's window:
  We Really Know Our Stuff
• In a podiatrist's office:
  Time Wounds All Heels.
• Outside a muffler shop:
  No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
• In a veterinarian's waiting room:
  Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
• At the electric company:
  We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
  
  However, if you don't, you will be.
• At a propane filling station:
  Thank Heaven for Little Grills

10 основных заблуждений о переводе:

10. Anybody with two years of high school language (or a foreign-tongued grandmother) can translate.

9. A good translator doesn't need a dictionary.

8. There's no difference between translation and interpretation.

7. Translators don't mind working nights and weekends at no extra charge.

6. Translators don't need to understand what they're translating.

5. A good translator doesn't need proofing or editing.

4. Becoming a translator is an easy way to get rich quick.

3. Translation is just typing in a foreign language.

2. A translator costs $49.95 at Radio Shack and runs on two 'C' batteries.

1. That marketing copy that took a team of 20 people two months to put together can be translated overnight by one Person and still retain the same impact as the original.

Без комментариев

The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised."
She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."

Aging is Inevitable
Maturing is Optional
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Ну а какое новоселье обходится без букета цветов?